a break

Well, after work yesterday I went home and was there for no more than 1 min, then I got a call from Bren while I was sprawled out face down on the living room floor. First off, work was cool. Wish I could say the same for Alyssa and Jackie tho. Alyssa got a real bicthin, as did i but I took it alil better. And Jackie got fired and she cried hysterically. She asked for my number and ran off. Instead of workin the ring, i worked the front. Which sucked BUT made time go alot faster and my managers actually complimented me on my preformance. !?!?!?! thats rare. But anywho, it was the final work day of my full working week. Thank god I can finally just relax alil. Anywayz, I went with Brenna and her mom which wasn't kosher on my part for a number of reaons. 1: I promised Heather I'd take her out for her birthday 2:my grandma who is leaving soon prepared a feast for me 3:i wanted alil rest before i did anthing cause I was tired and grumpy.4:I was invited to go bowling with a bunch of people from work and said I would be home to take the call. But I didnt tell Brenna because I felt I'd make her mad. That was stupid on my part, shes not obsessive or anything so she wouldnt flip so i shoulda just spit it out. As Alyssa said to me..."grow sum balls". So from now on, I'll say what I feel when I feel it cause if i don't speak up I won't have the best time. Hanging out with Bren wasnt a disaster but I should of been else where and with that guilt in my head the whole time I was pretty bitter. But kept that inside. So when I got the ride home I kinda let it out the wrong way at Brenna. I misworded what was wrong but totally fucked that up. Later I explained and apologized. All is well. That fear is growing tho...the fear that she doesnt feel the same about me anymore but this is the type of paranio shit that I think up all the time cause I'm stupid like that. I sumtimes think I don't make her happy, bu how can I when I don't open up to her? So live and learn. I am looking foward to the next time I see her. As of now, who knows what i'll do. School work n' study the drivers book and maybe even take a spin. Thats all for now.